Arthritis Self-Management

Diagnosis RA: Preparing for the Road Ahead

by Gary R. McClain, PhD

“I was just diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Now what do I do?”

I’ve heard this question many times. If you have been recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA), you might be asking the same question.

I am a counselor who specializes in working with individuals who are facing medical diagnoses, including diagnoses of RA. Some of the people with RA who come to my office are struggling with a new diagnosis; others have been living with the diagnosis for some time but are now facing new challenges. Because they come to me for counseling, I talk to them about their emotional reactions to the RA diagnosis and any new feelings they have that may be uncomfortable and strange. We also talk about the concerns — and fears — each individual has about what the diagnosis means for his or her future.

Why me?

If you are like most of my clients, you might have described your reaction to your diagnosis as one of shock, even if you had been experiencing symptoms that you suspected might be RA or if RA is part of your family history. It is human nature to cling to that possibility that “it won’t happen to me.” After all, most of us don’t go around assessing our chances of getting hit by a medical diagnosis.

Let me give you an example of a typical reaction to a diagnosis. A client whom I will call Carole received an RA diagnosis at the age of 45. While she knew that RA was in her family history, learning that she had it herself still came as a total surprise. “I couldn’t believe it,” she said when her doctor gave her the news. “In fact,” she continued, “I asked the doctor to repeat it a couple of times. How could this possibly happen to me, I thought. Sure I was having a lot of pain, but I was also working to stay active. I mean, I’m 45, not 75. I just sat there and tried to take it all in but I was numb. It wasn’t only the diagnosis that put me in shock. It was the idea that my life was never going to be the same.”

If you are like other people recently diagnosed with RA, you might be asking that unanswerable question, “Why me?” You may also have a few others: “What will happen to me?” “What will my life be like?” “Will I be normal?” These are very big questions, and they are not easy to answer, if they can be answered at all. Feeling shocked and full of questions is normal. But that needn’t stop you from harnessing your resources and facing the diagnosis — and all that it is going to mean for you — from a position of power. This involves developing a positive outlook and learning all you can about RA. It involves not only connecting with the people in your life who can help you, but also connecting with a sense of a greater meaning beyond your day-to-day experience. And it involves having a plan for your future that is both realistic and optimistic.

Are you ready to prepare for the road ahead? The following is the advice that I give my clients.

Look inward

Staying centered — that is, hanging on to the essence of who you are as a person and not as a patient — takes some work. It all begins with looking inside. Here are some tips to help you do just that.

Find a safe place for your feelings. Start preparing for the future by acknowledging the emotions that you are experiencing right now. It’s only human to have feelings like fear, anger, disappointment, and confusion when you learn you have RA. But these feelings don’t disappear just because you don’t want to experience them. When you admit to your feelings, even those feelings that you don’t think you should be having, the effect is almost magical. They lose their power to control you. Sure, they might revisit at times, but once negative emotions are acknowledged and experienced, they can also give way to hope, optimism, and a renewed passion for life.

It may be easier to bring out these feelings in discussion with another person. Find a family member, a friend, a counselor, or a member of the clergy who can be an objective listener and help you sort out how you are feeling.

Ask yourself what your diagnosis really changed. You were diagnosed with RA, and your diagnosis is going to present some challenges as you move forward in your life. Newly diagnosed people sometimes tell me that a few words from their doctor have left them feeling like they have a past, but no future — or at least not the future that they anticipated. But ask yourself what really changed after that conversation in your doctor’s office. RA is an additional challenge thrown into your life’s path, to say the least. But it doesn’t mean your life is over, and it doesn’t mean your life is only going to be about RA.

Remind yourself that you are still fundamentally you. What you love about yourself, and what others love about you — the gifts, the faults, the quirks — are still all there.

Last Reviewed on July 21, 2010

Gary R. McClain is a licensed counselor who specializes in helping people with the emotional impact of chronic and catastrophic health conditions. His Web site is www.JustGotDiagnosed.com.

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